Marauding Moments: The Diaries of MWP&P
by BlackBells
Summary: If the Marauders kept a diary, this is what they would have written! Entirely hypothetical, based on their different versions of events. MWPP. Inspired by The Very Secret Diaries of the Lord of the Rings.
1. The First Train Ride

This is somewhat adapted from The Very Secret Diaries of the Lord of the Rings, which is absolutely hilarious. If you haven't read them, go look it up in Google. Hopefully it's still around somewhere. Anyway this isn't exactly the same (and nowhere near as good most likely!), but inspired by that. Obviously the Marauders would NOT have kept a diary. Perhaps Remus comes the closest, or James with his love obsession with Lily. So this is entirely hypothetical! So that you understand how this is going to work, basically each chapter will be each Marauder's perspective on a certain event, e.g. the first train ride, James asking Lily out, finding out Remus is a werewolf, etc. If this is to continue, I need some more ideas for 'events'. So let me know, especially any potentially hilarious ones.

I should also say that the Marauders, for the purposes of this fanfic, are stereotyped to the max, lame jokes included. It's meant to be a clichéd as possible! I will also put Lily's P.O.V. in from time to time, just to balance things out a little.

Now, let me present…

**Marauding Moments: The Diaries of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs**

**By SiriusLoverr**

The First Train Ride: Remus

Dear Diary,

Well, I'm finally off to Hogwarts! This morning certainly was hectic. I got to the station on time, as expected, despite having spent the night before roaming around the hills as my alter ego, aka werewolf guy. Understandably, I was rather tired, so I tried to find a spare carriage which would allow me to sleep pretty much through the whole train ride. Unfortunately, things never really work out for me, and the minute I boarded the train I was harassed by a fifth-year Slytherin who threatened to hex me if I didn't immediately vacate the carriage I was occupying so that he could get on with hexing another poor first-year in private. Well, I wasn't about to do anything, other than run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. But luckily for us, two other first-years with, might I add, excellent wand skills, had him running to the opposite end of the train with his robes on fire around his ankles.

Seeing as the carriage was now empty, I took the opportunity to try and get some sleep. But for some reason, the poor first-year couldn't really get his hands off me. Not in that way. He was scared to death, and I don't blame him! The two boys who had saved us from potentially being slaughtered on our first day of school joined us. They didn't really have anywhere else to go.

So anyway, now I'm sitting in the carriage with Peter (who has still to remove his sweaty hands from my robes), James (who has THE messiest hair I have ever seen – I can't stop staring at it!) and Sirius (whose hair is possibly, well, the best looking hair I've ever seen. On a guy. And that doesn't mean that HE is the best looking thing I've ever seen. I'm not gay. But you know that, you're my diary. Anyway, I doubt there's room for anyone else in that mind of his. I think he's in love with himself). It's rather hilarious watching James and Sirius. I've decided to keep a tally of how many times during this trip they touch their hair. So far, it's:

James: 17

Sirius: 23

OH. GOD. I just caught sight of my hair in the mirror, and it's fluoro orange! Okay, which one of these idiots did that…Sorry Diary, better deal with this. I'll write again later!

* * *

The Day I Nearly Died: Peter

I am so shaken I can barely bring myself to write this. But, of course, Diary, you need to know everything that happens. I don't really have anyone else to talk to. I was so excited, finally going to Hogwarts. I had a bit of a clumsy start though – as I got on the train I tripped over someone's luggage, and it fell open. I couldn't really tell what was in it, but there were lots of swirling objects and weird gadget things. Quite interesting, really. But the guy wasn't too happy. He cornered me in the hallway and took me to a carriage where he said he would 'hex me until I couldn't walk'. Oh, sweet Merlin, you have no idea how scared I was. I was about to be killed on my first day of school! A guy was already in the carriage, though, and these two guys came along and pretty much saved our lives. I am eternally grateful to them. James Potter and Sirius Black are their names. I didn't ask, but the guy in the carriage did. He's Remus Lupin. He was so nice to me. I think it's because we share the feeling of what it's like to nearly die. It's created a sort of…bond between us.

Well, I'll write again later, Diary, once I get to Hogwarts. If I'm not dead by then...

* * *

The Train with the Worst Facilities for Men on the Planet: Sirius

Diary, I'm back! Glad to see me? Who am I kidding, of course you are. Urgh. I'm so bored. The windows on this train are so lacking in reflective qualities, I can't see my hair. Perhaps if it was another colour I'd be able to see it better. I'm considering getting my pocket mirror out, the situation is so drastic.

Anyway, nothing's really happened so far. Said goodbye to dear old mum at King's Cross, boy was she glad to see me go! I must say, if I'm in Slytherin I think I'll die.

I met some guy called James at the station. Idiot. I was totally chatting up this third-year babe, and he had to go and spoilt it all. Oh well, all eyes were on me as we boarded the train. I think I can safely say that I'll make up for that loss with plenty of others!

Unfortunately, I got stuck in a carriage with two other guys. It was a bit unnerving. We shouldn't have saved them from that Slytherin, maybe then I would've had better company. One of them, Remus I think, couldn't stop looking at James. Although, I have a feeling it was because I'd made the ends of his hair look like he was undergoing some kind of electric surge. I also managed to turn Remus' hair fluoro orange. I think he's actually noticed now, it took him a good twenty minutes. Okay, I _really_ need to find a mirror. Wish me luck, Diary!

* * *

The Most Wonderful Train Ride of my Entire Life: James

Hey Diary,

Well today's the day! First day at Hogwarts. Although, we haven't got there yet, we're still on the train. I'm rather disappointed actually, haven't been able to pull off any pranks yet. Instead, I SAVED two guys from being hexed. Which is how I ended up in this carriage with some fat idiot who's probably gay, another bloke who I'd say definitely IS gay from the way he keeps looking at me. And then there's Sirius, who I met on the Platform. We were both checking out the same girl. I think it's pretty safe to say is in love with himself. The only reason I even attempted to make conversation with him is so he can't rival me for any potentially dateable girls at Hogwarts. But then again, I doubt I'll have much of a problem. They all had their eyes on me as we boarded the train.

Anyway, I haven't reached the most important part yet. Just as we'd sat down, this girl came into our carriage, looking for someone. This is how the conversation went:

Girl: "Hi, have any of you seen a girl called Alice? She's kinda short and she's not wearing robes because I have hers by accident…anyway long story. She been in here?"

Sirius: "Not wearing any robes? I think I would've noticed if she'd come in here…" (Honestly, what a perverted idiot).

Me: "No, but you can join us if you'd like.'

Girl: "Oh, I'm really sorry, but I really need to find her. She'll probably get punished terribly if she turns up without them."

Ohhh Merlin, I think I'm in love.

* * *

_Please please please review! I will love you forever! Next chapter: James asks Lily out for the first time. It will have Lily's P.O.V. also. If you're wondering why Sirius didn't mention Lily coming into the carriage, it's cos he doesn't remember. The whole point of this is to show the things that they noticed - their version of events. I didn't deliberately leave it out!_

**SiriusLoverr**


	2. Evans Encounter

**Disclaimer** (which I forgot in the last chapter): Own nothing, not even the idea for this. Credit goes to the wonderful J.K. Rowling.

To my reviewers:

**google voldys horcruxes**: I must say I disagree with you, but thanks for the compliment! I find writing humour incredibly difficult, which is probably one reason I chose to write this in the first place. I hope I do not disappoint!

**Kibz:** I was thinking of implying S/R, not actually detailing it as such, but yes. I much prefer it to Sirius the manwhore.

**GryffindoratHeart:** Well, I replied to your review anyway, but thanks for the review! And yes, Sirius is quite vain in this first chapter. I don't know why, to be honest. I'll see how I go with this.

**Messrs Padfoot and Prongs **(who I now know are two separate people!): I'm glad you liked it. And yes, it's completely different to my Sirius one. I felt like a change! And I have no idea how I am going to go writing 3 fanfics at once. But…we'll see how I go. You up for writing an English fanfic yet? I'm waiting…haha it's okay, I'll survive. As long as you keep reviewing! 

**Lupin and Tonks Fan: **Don't worry, Lupin won't be gay. It's just something that people will keep suggesting to him that make him really pissed off. I am considering making Sirius gay, however. Although I'm not sure if that will work. We'll see.

**Kitty East:** Thanks! Ahh, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you!

Okay, onto the next chapter! And keep giving me ideas/feedback. It really helps!

The day I was asked out by the most idiotic, egotistical jerk in the wizarding world: Lily

Argh! My first day at Hogwarts was _awful_. I spent the entire train trip trying to find Alice. She went to the bathroom and left her robes with me and kinda didn't come back. It turned out she was hexed by some jerk on the way and she's now in the hospital wing with a terrible case of boils. But I didn't know that at the time, so, as I've already said, I spent the whole train trip poking my head into carriages trying to find her. Which I didn't. What I did find were two idiots who wanted to invite me into their cabin. No thanks. I hate guys like that! Who think they can get whoever they want to do whatever they want. And, _joy of joys_, they both happen to be in Gryffindor. With me. One of them asked me out this morning at breakfast. I was about to start yelling at him but for some reason forgot that I was drinking pumpkin juice at the same time. Totally embarrassing. I was so angry at him for humiliating me I tipped the rest of it all over him. I really don't think he got the message though, cos he kept giving me this glazed idiotic grin. And it didn't leave his face even as he practically fell on top of the poor guy sitting next to him, who made his other friend topple backwards and onto the floor. In spite of my embarrassment it was quite funny. I think the guy broke something. Well, he deserved it. Pervert.

I found out the guy's name, by the way. James Potter. He makes me sick.

The day I asked out Lily Evans, aka the most beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous, sexy, sweet, intelligent woman in the whole world: (who else but James)

Well, Diary, today deserves an entry, I believe. Remember that girl from the train I was telling you about? It happens she's in the same house as me. Gryffindor, of course. She was sitting opposite me at the table in the great hall…I couldn't stop staring at her flowing red hair and her sparkling green eyes. And her smile…oh boy, I'm getting carried away here. I'm so glad you can't say anything back to me, cos I know you'd laugh when I tell you this. But I had to do it. I _had_ to. How could I not, with her sitting there, sipping her pumpkin juice, looking like she'd come straight off the cover of _Witch Weekly_?

So I kinda asked her out. Actually, Sirius told me that I pretty much yelled it out. Oops, guess I got a bit worked up. Unfortunately for me, she was so taken aback that such a gorgeous hunk of man was speaking to her that she choked on her pumpkin juice. And that dratted cat, Mrs. Norris, must have been underneath the table again, because she tripped and fell over, and her pumpkin juice spilt all over my robes. Oh, happy day. I am _never_ washing these robes. I hope she was alright, she was rather red in the face when she got back up again. And then she said something like "I will never go out with you ever!" Oh, she'll come around, I know it. I am never washing my robes. I think I mentioned that before. Now, where the hell are Remus and Sirius? I need their advice…

The day I broke my ankle: Sirius

Guess who managed to find himself in the hospital wing with a broken ankle on his first day of school? Come on, guess! Really, it's so unbelievable. So incredibly shocking, so mind-boggling, astonishing, astounding, beyond belief. Okay, it was yours truly. Bet that was a surprise! Now, Diary, I bet you're thinking _yeah, whatever, it only takes five seconds to fix a broken ankle_. NOT so. Let me start from the beginning…

So James kinda asked her out. Actually, he pretty much yelled it out. Yeah…slightly embarrassing. Poor girl was so shocked she choked on her pumpkin juice. And then tipped it all over him of course. And then – this is the most hilarious part – she screamed at him. I get the feeling he's not used to rejection, but for some reason he seems to think she'll come around. Yeah, keep dreaming mate. He doesn't even know her name. Well, neither do I. But I'm not the one that's in love with her, am I? Anyway, my hilarity was short-lived. Apparently, James has little muscular coordination, because his reaction to the pumpkin juice was to clutch onto Remus, who was sitting next to him, for dear life, who kinda fell on top of me…and, well, sufficient to say I then ended up in the hospital wing. With a bloody broken ankle. And Pomfrey's refusing to fix it, when I _know_ she could do it with a wave of her wand. I think Remus knows the spell but he's not going to tell me. Damn, I wish I wasn't a first year. At least the hospital wing has a great proliferation of reflective surfaces, but I don't want to look in them right now. I look bloody awful. Great start to the year, I'll say. I didn't even get the opportunity to send a letter to dear old mum. I'm in Gryffindor, you see. Wouldn't bother otherwise. I'm sure when I get around to it a howler will come my way. But it'll be worth it when I get home and find my name burnt off the family tree. That is, if I am still welcome in the Black household. Don't you just love family.

Spent like _FIVE HOURS_ in the hospital wing with Remus. That little git wouldn't give me the spell to mend my ankle. Even after we had such a deep conversation in his diary.

The day I was forced to spend AN ENTIRE HOUR in the hospital wing with Sirius Black: Remus

Well, the whole of Hogwarts saw James Potter completely embarrass himself today. He asked out that girl from the train, Lily Evans. I think I'm the only one who actually knows her name. The girl was mortified when he asked her, poor thing! James is never going to wash his robes. Oh boy.

The only thing more hilarious than James getting pumpkin juice all down his robes was Sirius breaking his ankle. Which was partially my fault, but then again, James did start it all by asking Evans out in the first place. Sirius is blaming me for not fixing his ankle. But honestly, he brought it upon himself when he complimented Pomfrey's 'nice arse.' Now, don't get me wrong, Sirius is quite…good looking…but, well, Pomfrey would be at least fifteen years his senior. (**A/N: I have no idea how old Pomfrey is/was and whether she was there when the Marauders were around, so go with me on this one!) **And she definitely was _not_ flattered! I figure I could just fix it for him, but I don't really want to get on anyone's bad side this early on in the school year. And, I must admit, I do rather enjoy seeing him in pain – **Hey, what you writing there Remus old pal? Seeing who in pain? **Oi! This is my diary you're invading! Find someone else to annoy. This is private. **Oh, is that how it is eh. And there is no one else! It's just you, me, and that frightful looking thing over in the corner. **Sirius, that's Alice Redfield. And she just has a bad case of boils. **Whatever, Remus, I'm scared to be alone in this place with that! **Yes, we have established that you are. It is, after all, why I am here in the first place, when I would much rather be reading through our Transfiguration textbook for our first class tomorrow. **We haven't even **_**started**_** anything in Transfiguration yet!** I like to get ahead. **Nerd.** Prat. **Hey! There is nothing better than spending time with me in the hospital wing. **Well, I can think of a few things – **Don't answer that. What you can do is tell me how to fix this, or convince Pomfrey to.** I'm not doing that, Sirius. Now, enough is enough! I don't know what spell you're using but stop making your thoughts pop up into my diary! There…that's better. Hey! Stop reading! **Oh, so I'm quite 'good looking' am I? **Oh stop giving me that perverted wink, Sirius. I was merely trying to recall what had happened when you successfully prevented yourself from ever having your ankle fixed by your immature behaviour. **But you think I'm good looking. **No. **But you wrote it! **No…well dammit yes, I did. But you shouldn't have read it! **So, on a scale of one to ten…**I am not answering that, Sirius Black. **How about this. Me or James? **Sirius, I am not g – **Remus, mate, stop denying it. We both know it's true. But I can't blame you. With someone like me around, well, I don't know how you could possibly feel attraction for anyone else. **Okay, that's really enough, I'm leaving now. **No, don't leave me here, its dark and **_**there's no one else here**_Good. You can contemplate. Reflect. Ponder. Dwell on the meaning of life. Write emo poetry in your diary. **I don't write emo poetry. **Well, it was merely a suggestion. You've been making emo conversation about your ankle for the past forty-five minutes. **Hmph.** Sirius, let go of my arm. **Oh the pain! My ankle is killing me! **Well, you should've thought about that before you went and hit on a teacher. I'll leave you and Alice alone.

Well, that was a nice, thought-provoking diary entry. Why does everyone seem to think I'm gay? Well, Sirius does. Not that I care what he thinks. I'd rather he think that than know what I really am. **What are you?** OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, leave me alone! How can you do that all the way from the hospital wing? **I'm not. I'm sitting in the chair next to you. **Your ankle is fixed. **Yeah. I told Alice she had the most attractive case of boils I'd ever seen. **Oh boy. This is going to be one hell of a year. **Sure is. **Oh go away, I'm trying to end my diary entry here. **Oh, right. **Preferably on a _good _note. **How about finally admitting your deep obsession with me?** Sirius, you need to get over yourself. **Well, think about it. This particular diary entry has almost as much me in it as there is you. Something weighing on your mind? **No, but something is getting on my nerves. Go write in your own diary! **Fine, I will.** Thought you didn't keep a diary. **Never said that. Just don't write emo poetry in it. **Sure. **I don't! **Whatever you say.

A/N: Peter wasn't in this one, just because, well, I couldn't really think of anywhere to fit him in. And if I had, it would've consisted of one sentence. But I refuse to ignore him completely. He was one of the Marauders after all, and although everyone hates him, they would not be Moony Wormtail Padfoot and Prongs without him.


	3. Remus gets a girl

**Disclaimer: Own nothing. That is all. **

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, keep it up! Sorry I haven't updated this one in a while, I'm writing 2 at once right now (The Real Story of Lily Evans and James Potter). And my art major work was due today (Wednesday) so I was pretty much cramming/staying up late to try and finish it. But it's done now, so I can devote my attention to far more important things like this. And I'll be posting the next chapter ASAP so there won't be another long time period between chapters!

**SiriusLoverr**

* * *

**Chapter Three: Remus Gets a Girl (before Sirius)**

Peter

Near death encounters so far: 15

Near death encounters from getting on the wrong side of Lucius Malfoy: 14

Well Hogwarts is great so far. Apart from when I get attacked by hoardes of Slytherins and locked in broom closets for hours on end. And if it weren't for James and Sirius it'd happen a lot more. The first year Slytherins, at least, keep well away from them. And that fifth-year Slytherin who tried to hex me on the train, of course. I wouldn't actually mind the Slytherins if they didn't torture me so much. It's not really much fun. James and Sirius spend most of their time trying to work out secret passages and rooms and trying to pick up girls. And I mean trying, not succeeding. In fact this really funny thing happened the other day...but I better go, I can hear them coming upstairs to the dorm, and I don't want them to catch me writing in here.

* * *

Sirius

Well, Hogwarts is great so far. James, Remus, Peter and I have formed a little gang. I think Peter would be dead by now if it weren't for us. Remus brings the brains of course. James, well I suppose he's somewhat gifted in the looks department. But it's me who brings that extra little something. The humour, and wit, the attractiveness. I'm not sure if that's a word, but honestly, it's the truth. I get the most attention, anyway…

* * *

Remus

Well, after that little stint in the hospital wing, I have been effectively forced into a bond of friendship with that git Sirius Black, James and Peter. After Sirius' ankle was fixed, he decided I needed to 'repay' him. He just wants me because I have the brains that he lacks…

* * *

Sirius

…so I thought I'd use my positive attributes to help others. Like Remus, for example. I thought the poor guy wouldn't be able to talk to a girl if he tried. So I tried to demonstrate the ways in which one can. Although, the other day, he actually did manage to. Without my help, in fact…

* * *

Remus

…for instance, the other day, Sirius tried to pick up this girl when we were eating breakfast in the Great Hall with some stupid pick-up line which involved something about seeing himself in her pants. Needless to say she wasn't very impressed. Oh, and perhaps the fact that a guy _three years younger than her_ was trying to pick her up (no matter how attractive he may be).

**Why is it every time I catch you writing in this thing you happen to mention how good looking I am?**

Oh shut it, Black.

**So, we're on a last name basis now are we?**

We are if you continue to threaten the basis of our friendship by invading my privacy.

**What, so you don't like the nickname James and I picked out for you?**

Absolutely not. Now get out of my diary, Sirius.

**That's better. Later…Remmy!**

Ergh. 'Remmy.' Hardly a suitable name for a werewolf. I deserve something more masculine and fierce like…well, that's the thing, I can't actually think of anything better. Which is why Sirius refuses to call me anything else. Oh, wait, I'm supposed to call him 'Siri' now. I refused at first, but I was partnered with Lily Evans during Charms and she has informed me that Siri is a Norwegian girl's name. I have no idea where she found it out, but there is no way that he is going to live this down. **(A/N: Mr. Prongs – not exactly as you suggested I put this in, I know, but I didn't want Lily 'invading' Remus' diary like Sirius did. Nice idea, thanks for the suggestion!)**

Anyway, where was I?

Ah, yes. That's right. Sirius tried to pick up Mary Cantwell. And failed. Well, I suggested that next time he try something less suggestive. Something nice and _normal_, like "hey, I'm having a bit of trouble with my Charms homework, I've heard you're doing well in it so far, would you be able to help me some time?"

Well, he may have laughed, but, trying to avoid utter humiliation (James spewed his pumpkin juice everywhere in much the same fashion as Lily Evans did after he asked her out when he heard my suggestion), I decided to show Sirius it would work. Siri. Sorry. I keep forgetting. So I tried it on the next girl who walked past. Don't ask me how, but she fell for it. As embarrassed as I was, it was well worth it to see Sirius sitting there with his mouth gaping open, as if to say

* * *

Sirius

…he suggested using homework as an excuse to pick up girls. Well, I thought my lineswere pretty good, but they just don't seem to work here. Remmy, however, has proven me wrong. I am never wrong! Well…except perhaps in class. But that's because I don't pay attention. But girls? That's my thing! I couldn't believe it when the girl actually said _yes_ to him. I mean, it's not that he's bad looking or anything. In fact, he's quite good looking.

**Uh, did you just write what I think you did?**

Oh Remmy, you're just in time! I was just trying to explain to my diary how great with the chicks you are.

**Sirius, I'm not 'great with the chicks'. I just know how to get them to think I'm not an immature sleaze like you.**

Oh gee, thanks. Isn't Remmy just the nicest guy?

**Well, the girls seem to think so. Anyway, I'd better run. Sorry I can't stay and chat, but I have a date! **

Yeah, doing homework.

**It's better than what you've got, Siri old pal. **

Damn him! He's right again! I will have to seriously work on this…

* * *

James

Hey Diary,

I've decided to keep a tally of how many times I ask Lily Evans out.

So far it's 7. Since we've been here about a week now, I'd say that makes one for each day. I'll see if I can keep that up until she says yes. Unlike Sirius, I have decided that it's probably better to take Remmy's advice than use ridiculous pick-up lines. But nothing (and I mean _nothing_) seems to work on Lily Evans.

I don't know what she has against me! She seems to think I'm some arrogant, big-headed, perverted arsehole. Which Sirius tells me I am. But so is he. My only consolation is that he has not yet been able to get anyone either. Sirius, or 'Siri', as Remmy and I have now decided to call him after discovering it is a female Norwegian name for a lovely or beautiful woman **(A/N: I'm not sure if this is entirely correct, I looked it up on the internet – ask Messrs Padfoot and Prongs!)**, maintains it is the name for the brightest star we can see from earth. That may be so, but the other definition is just so much more hilarious! I'm so fortunate my name is too short to be given any sort of nickname like that. I mean, the only way you could really shorten it would be to call me something like 'Jam.' Yeah, I rest my case.

Anyway, I'm sure Siri will beat me in this competition we have going on. I have no desire to ask out anyone other than Lily Evans, and he practically has his eyes on every girl in the school. But I, James Potter, shall never give up. In fact, I swear that I will have Lily Evans by the end of this year. And if not, I'm just going to keep going until seventh year. What's life without a challenge? And boy, this is going to be one big challenge…

* * *

Peter

Diary, it's not fair. I want a nickname.

**A/N: Please if anyone has any ideas regarding Peter help me! I really don't want to leave him out, because he was a Marauder and deserves to be here. It's just…he's such a hard personality to recreate in a diary entry (as you can probably tell by his lack thereof). It's not like he can just keep on recording his 'near death encounters.' **


	4. Summer Holidays

Sorry for the wait, I've been kinda busy writing The (Real) Story of Lily Evans and James Potter, and neglected this one I suppose. The last chapter, admittedly, was written when I was fairly tired, so it probably wasn't as good as the last two (**Kitty East** – hence the lack of diary titles). Anyway, decided to take a break so I could actually make this next chapter a little better, because I don't like writing chapters just for the sake of updating and not putting much thought into them.

**andlovesaidhellno: **Sirius will not be gay in this, don't worry! Neither is Remus. I am not a fan of either of them being gay. I just think its funny when it's implied. I actually made Sirius gay in my other story, but that is for a specific reason.

Thank you so much to everyone else who reviewed! Just because you have no special mention doesn't mean I don't appreciate it! I do, very much so!

**NB**: The chapters in this story are fairly short, mainly because each one is about a particular event, and, well, there is only so much you can write. I will hopefully post the next chapter soon!

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**Chapter Four – Summer Holidays**

The Holiday from Hell – Peter

Well, diary, I haven't really written in here much these holidays. You'd think I would've had plenty of time, sitting at home with nothing to do. Not so. In fact, I spent most of the time reading letters and postcards from Sirius and James. They sent me an awful lot, actually. Every time I got one I felt so special inside, I can't imagine how they got the time to send me so many!

I can't reply though, because my owl, Doris, went missing, and I have no idea where she is. I miss her so much, she is the only one who listens to me. With her gone, I feel lonely and abandoned, and I wish I was in Spain with Sirius and James. My family never goes _anywhere_. I would say I can't wait to go back to Hogwarts, but at least here I don't have to worry about Lucius Malfoy.

In fact, despite the loneliness, I'll admit it's good not to have to look around every corner I turn. Although, I still do. Just in case.

I just heard a noise downstairs. I'm going to go to the attic for a while, you can never be too sure…

* * *

Holiday! Celebrate! – Sirius

Wooh! Dum dum dee dum, "Put your troubles down it's time to celebrate…"

Ohhh Diary, I have had _the_ most splendid summer. The family went off to who knows where, probably to some evil dark and very evil meeting of evil people. So good old James offered to let me spend the summer on holiday with him….IN SPAIN! Of course I got right into the cultural atmosphere of the place. I even bought a Spanish phrase book with me. James and I practiced our phrases quite successfully on the ladies, I believe. Apart from one guy, who was so shocked he actually ran away from us. Couldn't he tell that I am foreign? My pronunciation was not quite up to par, I'm thinking.

Well that got boring after a while, so James suggested we write to everyone. We sent Remus a photo of the two of us topless lying on the beach. I was sure he'd like that. But he sent a rather expletive letter back in which he must have written in capital letters at least ten times 'I AM NOT HOMOSEXUAL.' 'But Remus,' I said, 'I wasn't implying anything of the sort.' And then the devil had the nerve to accuse _me_ of liking men! Sirius Black, renowned ladies' man? Never!

We sent Peter some lovely postcards too. Mainly ones of the beach, the sun, the massive resort we were staying in, and more of the beach, some hot chicks we hung out with, the gigantic swimming pool…

I think James sent a few letters to Lily as well.

* * *

A Magnificent Summer - James

Hey Diary,

Had a pretty great summer. Went to Spain with Sirius. His parents went off on holiday somewhere. Some evil place full of evil people, apparently. Anyway, the rentals pretty much gave as free reign to do what we liked, so we spent the first couple of weeks hanging out at the beach. Sirius attempted to pick up women ten years older than us using phrases from the romance section of his Spanish phrase book. I think that was the only section he really learnt, and even then I don't really think he remembered what the phrases meant, because he didn't seem to realise why some guy ran off when he asked him to "fuck me harder." Sirius isn't exactly the smartest guy on the planet. **(A/N: When I went to New Caledonia a few years ago, I bought a French phrase book, and it's true, they have 'romance' sections, and that phrase was one of them. Along with 'faster' and other such things. Didn't try it though!) **

Anyway, on a _far_ more important note, while Sirius was busy fraternizing with the ladies, I was owling Lily. She didn't reply after the first ten or so letters I sent, which was a little disappointing. I thought I'd got the wrong address. My owl has _never_ got the wrong house before! I'm guessing since she's a muggleborn maybe her parents freaked out or something and confiscated her owl. But he found her eventually, though, clever thing. She owled me back, saying "I'm on holiday, Potter, don't make it any worse."

Why would I make it any worse?

So I tried to make it better by sending her some postcards from Spain. I hope she got them.

* * *

That fucking _idiot_ James Potter…- (who else but) Lily Evans

OH. MY. GOD. Does this guy know when to stop? Yeah, real intelligent question there, Lily. OBVIOUSLY not. Holidays are meant to be fun, relaxing, peaceful, spent with friends and family. Not receiving owls from some lame and obsessive schoolboy. He must have sent me fifty owls in the space of two weeks! Doesn't he have anything better to do? I mean, he was in _Spain_ for god's sake. Well, apparently he's sadder than I thought, because the more I ignored him the more the letters just kept on coming. I figured I may as well reply, just to shut him up. Didn't quite work, though. Oh boy…first day back at school he better watch out. Because I am _not_ enduring that in my holidays again, that's for sure.

You know what the sad thing is? This diary entry, which is supposed to be about my wonderful holiday, is pretty much dedicated to James bloody Potter. Well, it's not like I really did much, anyway. And when I did, it was interrupted by his annoying owl who would scratch me to death unless I opened the letter. As I said, that boy has it coming.

* * *

Will these holidays ever end... - Remus

Dear Diary,

…I should probably stop saying that, I sound like I'm a ten-year-old schoolgirl confiding about her latest crush.

Well, summer holidays are practically over now, we'll be going back to Hogwarts tomorrow. I can't wait to go back, holidays haven't been all that enjoyable. I was hoping to get some letters from James or Sirius, but they're in Spain, I think, so they're probably enjoying themselves. And James has no doubt been owling Lily constantly. Unless by some miracle he's come to his senses and gotten over her. And of course, I wish that for her sake, not his. Because he is obviously driving her up the wall.

I actually got a letter from that girl I asked out in the Great Hall a while back. I feel kinda bad about it now, seeing as it was just a demonstration to a total blockhead. To be honest, I didn't think she'd go for it. But she sent me some mushy love letter, which, as much as I appreciate, can't really find the words to respond to. I should talk to James, I'm sure he knows all about writing those sorts of things. But I think I lost his address, so I'm gonna have to ask him once we get back to school. By which point, the girl will probably have hunted me down and tied me up so I can't get away.

* * *

_Reviews much appreciated! Praise, criticism, doesn't matter! Once again, sorry for the enormous wait, really! It's so hard writing two stories at once, never again will I attempt to do so!_

**SiriusLoverr**


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